Teenie Thoughts

I found a bit of rebel in myself today. It was a leisurely Monday (MLK DAY!!!!) so there was no school. I woke feeling the sunshine on a winter morning and crammed in as much as I could accomplish before 10:30. Then, packed up my computer to work on my paper for school and knew I had a few errands to run.
Yes, shopping for underwear for your husband constitutes an errand; not technically shopping.

There I was at the mall with not much really to do afterwards except write a paper. BOO! No one wants to write a paper. It was gorgeous outside. The sun was shining. I even had the top down in the bug so I was feeling a bit rebellious. I stopped in the body shop place. It is very much a combination of a piercing/tattoo parlor that got smacked in the face with Hot Topic and The Disney Store.

I went over to peruse the selection of tattoos. I have had an idea in my head for some time about a sunshine that I wanted on the nape on my neck. It was very strange but the ONLY sunshine they had showing is almost exactly what I had in my mind’s eye. With a few tweaks the dude totally had what I wanted. SERIOUSLY.

So, since I had to wait a tad for my newly made appointment, I called a friend, ate some lunch at Red Robin and talked myself into getting it for sure-sans puking at the Vegas tattoo incident.

I was totally nervous considering my last escapade had me vomiting in the window of the tattoo parlor at the Mandalay Bay in Vegas. (I prefer to NOT repeat that in a busy mall where I LIVE thank you). The chair looked like something out of a torture kit and I sat. Short legs dangling and face hitting the metal piece because yes, dammit, I am short.

One hour later. I am the proud new owner of a sun on the nape of my neck. Yes, it did sting. No it did not illicit any puking. I reveled in the Nirvana in the background and found my sunny place with waves crashing.

The end result? I will post it as soon as I figure out how to enter the picture on this new damn site!

WOOHOO! Two blogs relatively close together. Got the Twitter thing-ma-bob going on the side and I actually think I might be getting used to the new stuff on the admin section!

Next: I take over the world.

2009 bought the farm. Let me repeat that. BOUGHT THE FARM. Seriously. If I could scream it from every corner and every window and at every single person that walks by me; I would.

Let me demonstrate. 2009  BOUGHT THE FARM BITCHES!

I can’t even begin to explain the transformation my soul took over the course of the year. I have experienced more hurt, more pain, more bullshit than I ever expected to. I have lost friends, gained friends, fought with my spouse, survived a teen wrecking my car (twice) cancer scares, stupid people entering my life without my permission and god knows what else. That might just be last January for all I remember.

I had posted a few times that I didn’t want this blog to represent a big whiney place for me. So I just didn’t write. I tried to come back a few times but my heart wasn’t in it. There was too much suckage going on. I can honestly say that I was never a crier. Then. 2009 happened. I think I have contributed to the deforestation process through the use of TP and Kleenex. I became what I despise. Someone who cannot control her emotions.

I am pretty sure I have scared a few people with my frantic sobbing episodes. Heart wrenching, soul tearing, lets end with a puke session, crying jag. God I am sick of those. They are completely over rated and have no benefit whatsoever. Well, maybe they do if you do it ONCE.

I have had more adult conversations in the last year than I care to remember. I have had more accusations thrown at me….hell, even those I am throwing at people, and just well, crap.

I think my blog could have been titled : Crappy Thoughts. Because holy shit….there was always a pile of crap somewhere that I was dodging.

I guess amongst the crap there is always something good too. I did have a few bright shiny spots that made me feel like I could hold off on medicating myself. Those include how I realized that true friends do exist. Those friends that bring you flowers, tuck you in bed, supply the tissue to offset being investigated by the TP FBI, and the booze. THE BOOZE. Dude. I can thank many good friends for driving me home. Or sitting by me and my fireplace enjoying the elixir of red. Yes. Shiraz. Thank you Shiraz for being my friend. I have needed you this year. And Vodka. The liquor of my people. Thank you.

But really—I have found that those friends near and far will hold my secrets tight. Will hold me tight. And will always-always keep me safe. I am not sure I realized how fortunate I am that way.

So 2010. All I have to say is BRING IT BABY. There is NO way this year could compete for the Shit Trophy of 2009. So, I am saying. Let this be the year of ME. I am done feeling guilty for other people’s effin up. I am done feeling guilty or worrying about perceptions that do not make the truth. I am also done NOT holding people accountable to me…and to my feelings.

I am not some sniveling, whiney, crybaby that can’t handle life. I am here to embrace it.

So 2010. Bring it. It is the year of Teenie. I promise.

Tomorrow I have my loverly six month follow up for my girlie parts. (If I knew how to work the new site, I would link it to the old post, but somehow that might take too long and I would forget what I wanted to write about)
So I am contemplating that I should really shave my legs since he is pretty hot. Surprisingly hot actually. THe kind that makes you wonder—Could he be gay? Because he is hot and NICE. REALLY nice.
Like the kind of nice where you say, Dude, you are too hot to be this nice and I think that if you are hot and nice then you might not really care if I shave my legs or not.

Personally, I am not taking that chance. Bring on the shaving cream.

Ok. He isn’t in town until April. BUT HELLO why didn’t I know until all the good seats were sold? 

Michael

I suppose in the long run, adjusting to this new site will be MARVELOUS, but currently—

I MISS MY OLD SITE!

I can’t find anything. I hate the way it looks because I don’t know how to find the old pretty stuff I had. I DO like the layout behind the scenes but I CANT FIGURE IT OUT BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME.

WAAAAHHHHH!!!

AND did I mention that EVERYTHING and ALL the widgets I had inserted are like–oh you know, GONE!?

I know that change is inevitable and I am ok with that. Really. Just right now, today, I want to know how to work this stinkin thing since I feel like writing!

I spose I deserve not knowing how to 1. start a new post or 2. start a new post since I haven’t BLOGGED consistently in ages.

So here I sit, trying to figure this dang thing out. Like a newbie. BUT WAIT. There aer 630 posts on this site. THAT IS NOT NEW!