Apologizing in Advance

I could probably leave the entry at that and you would ALL understand. Instead, I am going to apologize for these few things.

1. In case she kills her car and you are behind her and need to pee. Sorry. Sometimes it takes her trying to break the starter to get it going again.

2. She kills it and you don’t have to pee but are annoyed to see someone who is driving a stick not really know how to do it.

3. She runs over your flowers. Or your dog. Or something.

4. She drives too slow and you need to haul ass around her. Sorry. She is somewhat of a grandma driver which I am COMPLETELY happy with you Mario Andretti, you.

5. She parks wonky and you can’t squeeze into the spot next to her. Actually, not really sorry for this. I am hoping for no door dings and if she takes up 2 spots. Good for her. She learned well.

6. She takes ten years to turn around the corner. She is counting gears to 2nd to make sure she doesn’t kill it. Refer to number 1 and 2 to those apologies in case it happens.

7. You are stuck behind her on a hill. Your own issue if you get too close. You might smell burnt rubber or fear for your front bumper, but she can do it.

8. You have to sit through a red light. Ya, you know why.

9. She looks like she isn’t going to stop behind you, but then does at the last minute. Yeah, this scares the shit out of me too. Close your eyes and pray-that is the only advice I can give.

10. She takes your favorite parking spot because now, she can!

So—Sorry. Kinda.